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Welcome to the PainSupport Newsletter
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Editor: Jan Sadler of PainSupport
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No.187, October 2010
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Banish ‘SMOs’!
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by Jan Sadler
of PainSupport
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www.painsupport.co.uk
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© Jan Sadler 2010
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“SMOs ?? What are
those?”
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SMO is short for the 'Shoulds' 'Musts' and 'Oughts' of life!
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These little words are very powerful and often rule our lives
without us realising it. The phrases 'I
must...', 'You should…' or 'They
ought to... are so rigid and inflexible that they limit your choices
and cut your, or someone else’s options right down. 'Always', 'Never' and "I
have got to...." also come into the same category. They block
you from further thinking and restrict your choices of action.
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Using these ‘SMOs’ can cause us unnecessary stress,
irritation and the feeling that everything is stacked against us. Stress
causes physical tension which causes extra pain, and that’s something we
can all do without.
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Most of our thoughts and words are so familiar to us that
they pass through our mind without us taking any notice of them. It's helpful
to understand that the way we speak and think can have a major impact on
the way we feel and behave, either for our benefit or to our
disadvantage.
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Take a look at these examples,
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"I can't
do that" (Why not? Is this really true?)
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"This
always happens to me" (Does it really?)
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"You
never help me" (What, never?)
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"I ought
to ....." (Who says this is absolutely necessary?)
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"I must
....." (Who says so? Do you really have to?)
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"They
shouldn't ......" (Why not? Who made this rule?)
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"I have
got to ....." (Who says so? Do you really have to?)
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When we use ‘SMOs’ it means that we are operating from rigid,
inflexible rules about how we think we and others should act. As a
result, we find fault and people irritate us because they don't act or
think how we think they should. We also think we should behave in a certain way and feel guilty if we don't
- even if it doesn't make sense!
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Believing your limiting thoughts robs you of your ability to
use your very real inner resources to deal with life - and your pain.
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Test yourself! First, read the examples below.
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“They ought to
be able to find out what's causing this pain.”
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“He never
helps me.”
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“I must finish
this.”
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“You should
have an operation.”
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“I always get
ignored.”
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Did you notice how negative, unhelpful and probably untrue
the comments are! Living life with fixed rules like these leads to
unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others.
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Banish those ‘SMOs’!
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Simply becoming more aware of your thoughts and words will
often be sufficient to shift your ‘SMOs’.
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It's also useful to notice when other people use ‘SMOs’, when
you are talking to them and also on the TV where people use them often, especially
in the soaps! Watch and learn!
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When you hear yourself using an ‘SMO’, challenge yourself and
ask yourself if it is really true.
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Find a more
positive outlook – it gives you the freedom of more choice
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The idea of hunting down and eliminating your ‘SMOs’ is to open
up the possibility of more choices in your life, reducing stress and
tension – and thereby avoiding extra pain.
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1. Change your words. Remove the pressure immediately.
Instead of "I must ....."
you could say, "I might, I
may or I choose to....". e.g.
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"I will plan
the day to suit my pain, not what I think I 'ought' to do."
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"I might go
out later if my pain levels are OK."
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“I may see you
tomorrow, I’ll let you know.”
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2. Don’t become critical of either yourself or of others
in your hunt for ‘SMOs’. Accept that other people are different from you.
They have their own fears and limitations and can't be expected to abide
by your rules. Personal values are just that - personal.
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Start gently! One day at a time.
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How about joining me in having today free from 'Shoulds'
'Musts' and 'Oughts'? Let's declare today (and every day) an SMO-Free Day
and open up a whole new world of choice and possibilities!
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© Jan Sadler of PainSupport, www.painsupport.co.uk
2010
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TIP
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See PainSupport’s pages on pain
relief:
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http://www.painsupport.co.uk/relief/00about.html
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Stress Reducing Tip
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Feeling tense? Let Go…
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Clench your
fists tightly and notice where you feel the tension, it probably won’t be
only in your fists!
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Then slowly
release them and let them relax, you may be able to feel how the
relaxation spreads to other parts of your body, such as your shoulders
and arms and abdomen.
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Try it and see. Even if you don't actually feel the
relaxation spread, it doesn't matter, your body will automatically do so.
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It worked for me!
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UK
PainSupport member, Louise G, says,
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“What really
helps me is a low plastic stool from places like the Kleeneze catalogue.
This really helps if I have to do things that are low down or high up. I
can sit on it instead of kneeling or bending over when getting items out
of low cupboards or the washing machine. I then can hold on to a kitchen
cabinet to hoist myself up. The stool has really been a godsend. Thanks so much for your newsletter. I
find it really helpful especially knowing that I'm not the only one with chronic
pain. Kindest regards. Louise”
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This is
a great idea. I have one too, we attached a long pole like a broomstick
to one leg of the little stool, this makes it extra safe as I can hold on
to it when I get on and off. It is tied very tightly to one leg with thick
string or rope. It also means I can pick it up without having to bend
down and I can carry it around more easily. Jan Sadler, Editor
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Please tell us!!
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If you
try any product or therapy that helps you in some way. Please let us
know, even if it only reduces symptoms a little, as it may help others
too.
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ItWorkedForMe@PainSupport.co.uk
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Relieve pain and stress. Best selling recordings by Jan Sadler
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Listen to Jan’s relaxing voice and let your pain and stress
float away. ‘Relax and Release your Pain’ and ‘Perfect Relaxation’ are
bestselling recordings and highly recommended for pain and stress relief.
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The recordings to the left and right are available as either
instant Downloads to your computer or player or as CDs. Available to everyone, UK and worldwide!
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Listen to a
sample.
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Go to either of these pages:
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http://www.painsupport.co.uk/products/02tapes01.html
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http://www.perfectrelaxation.com/paincds.htm
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Proceeds from every sale go
towards the upkeep of the PainSupport site.
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DVD for lower back pain
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We know how vital it is to exercise – having the willpower to
do it every day or at least 3 or 4 times a week is another matter! Pilates
exercises are often recommended for people with back and other problems.
Using a simple, straightforward DVD will help to keep you motivated. ‘VeeBee47’,
of London
has the DVD ‘Pilates for Lower Back Pain’ and says,
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“If you can
hardly move and need basic slow Pilates exercises with slow, plain
explanation, this is the one for you.”
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www.amazon.co.uk
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Check with your doctor and/or physio
before starting new exercises to make sure they are suitable for your
specific condition.
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Mood boosting books
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Reading a good book really can
unwind your mind. Reading
not only provides a great workout for the brain, but can also enhance
your general sense of wellbeing by providing a broader perspective on
life, increasing your general knowledge and feeding your imagination. Try
some of the books on the BBC website below:
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/headroom/mood_improvers/mood_boosting_books.shtml
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PainSupport Newsletter and Tool Kit
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You need your Took Kit for when
pain flares up. You will then have some great ideas at hand for getting
your pain under control.
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NB Keep your Pain
Logs in your Tool Kit – you can find a link to the Logs near the end of
the newsletter.
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You are welcome to forward this newsletter to your friends.
Click the link below if you haven't already signed up for PainSupport's
monthly email newsletter and the FREE PainSupport Tool Kit.
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Sign me up for
the Newsletter and Tool Kit!
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signmeup@painsupport.co.uk
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I already receive the Newsletter but would like the Tool
Kit.
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Send me the Tool Kit please!
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The
PainSupport Contact Club and Discussion Forum
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An Invitation…
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If you’re not already a member,
why not join our free, highly successful Confidential Contact Club and
Discussion Forum? Ease the pain by sharing life's ups and downs with those
who understand – and perhaps find some answers too. Here is message
recently received from Isobel, a previous member of the PainSupport Contact
Club,
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"I cannot
praise PainSupport highly enough. I have made contact through the Contact
Club with several people, some are so positive that they almost take the
breath away and some are so weighed down with pain and the awful side
effects that go with it that they need all the support they can get. It
was one of the best days of my life when I came across your website when
I was browsing another subject."
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Join or Login the Contact Club for new friends...
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http://www.painsupport.co.uk/data/cc_contactclub.asp
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Join or Login the Discussion Forum…
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http://www.painsupport.co.uk/data/df_viewtopics.asp
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Words of wisdom
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Seeds Of Thoughts
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“Every thought is
a seed. If you plant crab apples don't count on harvesting Golden
Delicious!”
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-
- www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk
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Keep Smiling…
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What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
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Answer: 'I like your belt'!
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Editor’s Note
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I hope you find the above ideas
useful. For more information and ideas for pain relief, please go to the
PainSupport and/or Perfect Relaxation websites, addresses below.
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All best wishes – and keep
smiling!
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Jan at PainSupport
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www.painsupport.co.uk
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www.perfectrelaxation.com
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Your FREE Pain Logs!
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Print as many copies as you need. They will help you keep
track of your pain, find out what affects it, and can be use for medical
consultations, if necessary, to show your doctor how your pain affects
you.
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a) The log below will be a record of your actual pain
level.
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www.painsupport.co.uk/enewsletter/painlevelslog.pdf
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b) The log below will help you to discover how your
activities and feelings may affect your pain.
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www.painsupport.co.uk/enewsletter/painfeelingsandactivitylog.pdf
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You may print the above
Newsletter for your own personal and private use but if you wish to use
all or part of it for any other reason, please ask first. Copyright belongs to Jan Sadler.
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Many of the tips in this
Newsletter are not from medical sources, so please use your own
discretion or, preferably, check it out with your doctor, before trying
any of the suggestions as some herbs and supplements may interact with
any medication you may be taking. Please also have any undiagnosed pain
checked out by a doctor.
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Products, sites and
organisations mentioned in the Newsletter are merely being brought to
your attention. Check everything yourself before purchasing or acting on
any of the information. PainSupport is not responsible for the content of
any other website mentioned. PainSupport NEVER passes on your email
address to anyone else without your prior permission.
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We hope you enjoyed reading
this newsletter. However, if you'd rather not receive future PainSupport
newsletters, please let us know. unsubscribe@painsupport.co.uk
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Copyright © Jan Sadler 2010
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